eyes & ride update

Had another topography (or whatever that test is) for my lasik yesterday. My eyes are much improved. This time the doc showed me the pics and what exactly was needed for me to qualify. He said that there were two patients last Friday that finally qualified after being out of their contacts for two months.

I've been out of mine for about six weeks now I think. He said my eyes have improved greatly and that he didn't think it was going to be a problem. He had to pass it by the other doc though. So I'm in a holding pattern once again and waiting on a phone call. Even if I qualify, he said the next available surgery is the end of April. I'll be in glasses at least four more weeks. Not that I am minding it much now. It's all been good...

Got a lot happening this weekend. Saturday night is going to be very interesting. Planning on riding a lot more now that my 2nd job is coming to an end. I'll have weekends and evenings to myself again. Can't wait... Hope has been the best thing to happen to me since my children were born. She brings me so much joy...

It's going to be a great weekend... I'm ready...

:-)

officially mine

Went over and signed on the dotted line today. The new job is mine. It's going to be great working back in my field again!!! I can't wait.

Can ya tell I'm excited? *G*

Woke up this morning smiling... sat up and looked out at the ocean from my bed. 'My life is good,' I thought to myself. I am content...

:-)

dangit!

Got a really good call and a not so good call today. Can't say much about the one (no cat yet) but the other really isn't all that bad. Doc called and said they needed me out of my contacts ANOTHER two weeks before they'd commit to the Lasik on my eyes. Apparently, I really am a stretch as a candidate. Dang.

Gotta love a doc who's not rushing to do me for the money though. He's making real sure this is going to work for me. The glasses aren't that big of a deal now. They've kinda grown on me.

All in all, it was actually a great day. Warm. Sunny. Beautiful. And the other call made it all good for *me*... ***all smiles***

*happy sigh*

My core is at peace and my soul at rest. I feel very blessed today...

girly and giggly all night long

Had a great time at work last night. I'm going to miss it in so many ways. All the positive strokes have been wonderful. Giggled all night long. Was told "Believe it or not, you were missed this week. A lot." Omg... what a hoot! I am having the time of my life. I swear it's the glasses. Maybe I should rethink Lasik... not! *lmao*

Today is a new day. The drops from when my children leave and I'm no longer able to mother them become shorter with every visit. Acceptance. It all comes down to acceptance.

It's going to be a great day... my Hope is waiting. I feel truly blessed. I need to take her to a gas station and fill her up for the first time. That should be interesting. I love all the firsts in my life. Growth is an amazing process.

:-)

the chick has flown the coop

I wonder why time flies when you're spending it with the ones you love. Dropped my daughter off at IAH early this morning for her flight north. The week went by way too fast.

I have always loved having my kids around. They have been the light of my life since the day they were born. Never a difficult age. Never gave me any grief. Always wanted them with me. Always.

Both of my children have turned into wonderful adults. I can't believe in two weeks my first baby turns twenty-one and two and half weeks later her brother turns eighteen. Where have the years gone? Like this week, they flew by...

My kids make me proud every day. I can't imagine what it would be like to be without them. I hope I never have to find out. Parents who lose children must go through hell and back to survive. I don't know how my mother has made it losing my brother and then his son. She has more internal strength than I can even imagine. She inspires me every day.

Today the chick has flown the coop. Now the mother bird needs to fly. She needs her Hope so she can breathe... and move forward once again. With love...

the eyes have it

Passed my eye exam today... woo hoo! Go next week for one more test and then they said they'd schedule my Lasik. This practice utilizes a newer procedure with a newly aquired high tech machine where a flap does NOT have to be cut. It's all laser. Much less invasive and even faster healing time.

I'm thrilled!

The doc said I won't need glasses for anything except reading. I already need them for that even with my contacts. No big deal there. "Let's get her done," I told him. He said, "Oh, yeah, that's right. You were the one in a hurry." *lmao*

Ummm... yeah... that's me. Always the impatient one... *lolol*

I remember one time I had a saying on my desk when I was self-employed that stated, "Those who can't do it should get out of the way of those who can." When someone gives me the green light -- that means GO...

;-)

omg... i AM a girl... *lmao*

Promised my daughter a trip to the Galleria today. First time I've been in over 27 years. Shopping twice in one week. Lordy! This is a record for me.

As we walked through the doors she shivered visibly with excitement. I got the biggest kick out of her love of the whole experience. She told me today she's an e-Bay fan also. A lot. I laughed my ass off at that statement. We are so alike and yet so very different. Maybe I'm missing something with this e-Bay addiction stuff. She's hooked.

She was in 7th heaven walking through the second floor with all the designer names on the storefronts. "I feel like I'm in New York..." she told me. This from a girl who said she'll never shop anything but sales and discounts, even when she has money.

As long as I was in the stores, decided to buy a few things for myself. Three black t's/tops and one white one (my daughter told me it's not right to have all black in my closet so I bought the other... *g*). Two of the t's were only $5 and the other top I bought for going out was only $11 so it didn't break any banks for me. One of the black t's has in bold letters, "One boyfriend is never enough." Oh yeah... I'm wearing that when I ride... *lol*

And then we found the cutest sexy 4 inch platform pumps marked down from $80 to only $19.95 at some store called Steve Madden or something. What a deal. My daughter is up on all the designers and said she loves his shoes.

We wear the same size shoe. She bought the navy and I bought the deep burgundy/wine ones. Now I will have to shop again to find an outfit to go with those babies. They will look great with a cute little skirt for dancing nights out.

Omg... can it rub off just by association???!!! *LMAO*

I did have the greatest day with my daughter... and didn't even mind spending it in the mall. Imagine that.

***all smiles***

i want for nothing

"You know what I like about coming here, Mom? To your home?"

"What?" I asked.

"I can take care of myself here. You know, all the little things..." she answered.

My daughter feels at home in my home. What more could a mother want?

Nothing.

I want for nothing.

*happy sigh*

a mother again

Picked up my daughter from the airport yesterday. She looks radiant as always. My mom wanted to take us out to eat so we met up in Kemah on the Boardwalk. We went shopping in the quaint little places for a couple of hours. Not being a shopper per se, I enjoyed the time with my daughter. She loves to shop.

Went into one place and found a new bracelet. Rarely do I buy anything, especially jewelry. Most of mine (almost all actually) have been gifts. It feels like a waste of money when I spend it that way. But I found a bracelet that had "HOPE" on it. A very simple sterling silver open band type. I had to buy it. $7.04... not bad. Then there was another one with roses. Same price. So I blew $14.08 on them both and felt a bit guilty.... *lol*

Bought my sister a few gifts for her birthday coming up this weekend. One lady from one shop asked if we'd like to try a frozen wine drink. Sure. Another said to me after she asked if we lived here and I told her my daughter didn't, "I don't want to offend you but I've got to tell you -- you don't look old enough to have her for a daughter." I giggled as I always do and asked her just how old she thought my daughter and I were. She guessed her age as older teens -- maybe 20 at the most (dead right) and me as young 30's... omg... I love being home! *LOL*

My daughter said she's going to let herself go gray when it's her time. She said it'd get old always being told you look ten to fifteen years younger than you are... yeah right. Lordy! Not. One of the reasons I love my 2nd job is I'm told every night by someone that they think I'm in my 30's... and a lot of other nice things. Nice daily strokes that I don't really need but I'll take... *lol*

Anyway, I told her I started getting gray at 42 and that's when the bottle came out and into play. She said she'll treasure every gray hair. I told her, "We'll see..." Youngsters.

;-)

She told me my son bought a car. His finally died. A Saturn for $1500 (smart kid) with about 120k miles on it but no rust and mechanically sound. A good dependable ride for now. I'm glad he called her and they have that kind of relationship where they keep in touch. I'm very proud of both of them.

My baby is home and I'm a mother again. *happy sigh*

All is wonderful in my world. Even as it's pouring rain outside and weather-wise, for her spring break, it's not going to be the best. Next year, money allowing, I told her we'd meet up in Mexico for a true beach sunny spring break. Now I have to save for that.

Yesterday I told her about my philosophy... faith, hope and love... that being all I need in life. I told her I have faith in life, Hope in my heart, and love through my children. I don't know how come I'm so blessed after having so many years of heartache. I suppose there's never an answer to the "why's" in our lives.

Then she gave me what I've been searching for...

She told me Hope is what I needed to have for my first tattoo. Omg... she's so right! Now to design it. She's going to help me come up with something this week. Hope will be with me... always.... I can't wait to go and get my first ink.

I'm living the life my soul intended... finally... one breath at a time. In the present. Every day as if it were my last. Fulfilled. Content. Full of laughter. Loving others with all my heart.

Feeling loved.

good things come in 3's

Got the e-mail from my daughter that her research internship proposal was accepted. That makes three for her this week between that, her next year's RA position, and her nomination into the honor society. All of her constant hard work is paying off and it shows.

I am so very proud to have her for my daughter. Always have been -- always will be...

The cat's still not quite ready to be let out with my news... but it looks really really good... ***all smiles***

I'll keep ya posted.

good news

My daughter called again today. Yesterday her good news was that she's been chosen for membership into Mortar Board. It is quite an honor and achievement. Not many are asked to join. You have to be nominated and then the school has a committe that chooses the most deserving student.

Today, she found out that she's been given the best RA job next year on campus for her senior year. In fact, they wanted to keep her so badly they're rewriting the job description just so she doesn't have to be on board. It'll save her a lot of money and she makes more in the new job. She said the house where she'll be living has a huge bedroom for her. She is totally thrilled.

Tomorrow she finds out about her summer research application. Hopefully, three's a charm.

I couldn't be more proud to be her mother. She is putting herself through school. She is carrying a 4 point, working, very involved and holding offices in several clubs/sororities. Smart. Funny. Beautiful. Caring. Hopeful. She has the world at her feet and she doesn't even know it.

That's my girl.

a blessed day

Today was a great day. Started the day off with a fantastic appointment (more later!). Work was productive and projects were completed. Friends were laughing and happy and a blessing to be around. The Gulf water looked blue on the warm 71 degree three mile commmute home along the seawall.

And a surprise was waiting for me when I arrived. A note saying stop by the office for a DHL package.

Flowers.

Beautiful yellow roses with other yellow flowers intermixed. Attached was the following note:

~~~~~~~~~~

Mom,

I just wanted to let you know that thinking about seeing you is the one thing that's kept me going these past two weeks. Thank you for being you! I love you!

~~~~~~~~~~

Today was a blessed day... my core is at peace... my soul filled with joy.... my heart touched -- by love. What more could one ask for than to know you are loved?

Nothing. There is nothing left to want or need...

faith, hope, and love...

I have it all.

being blonde

I had to move a few posts off here and put them in another place for the moment... didn't want to let the cat out of the bag until I knew it was alive and kicking.... *lol*

As soon as I know something -- I promise I'll post it here! Suffice it to say to those in the know, "it" went VERY well... that's all I'm going to say for now...

;-)

out of storage and on the road

For a few more weeks until the end of the month and my 2nd job, Sunday's are my only riding days. Today was gorgeous weather with no clouds and temps in the mid-60's. Absolutely beautiful. As I sit here this evening reflecting on my ride, drinking a glass of piesporter, waiting for my steak to grill... my mind is at peace. My Hope fulfilled. Content. I am content in my heart. It is a good place to live.

My normal Sunday routine was unchanged. Worked my 3rd job for five hours in the early morning, went to the laundromat, washed the car and bought a few groceries. Once everything that had to be done was completed it was riding time. Today was designated as THE day for exiting the gates and crossing onto the road for the first time. I had decided last time that the next time would be it.

Went to storage with my new helmet and gloves in hand. That audible sigh from Hope (or was it me?) came again when I swung my leg over her and sat down. She was a bit dusty. I wiped her down delicately so her white could shine. Gently, she whispered her gratitude to my heart. We were as one again.

Ok. FINE. Yes, I use that each time I get on Hope. If only I also used the T-CLOCS one but I can't for the life of me remember what all each letter stands for in that acronym. It's the pre-ride checklist I think.

T = tires. Bought a tire gauge that can hang from a key chain and is digital (so hopefully I won't need my bifocals!) but forgot to check the tires with it when I went to storage. Actually, I don't even know what it should read. One of these days, it needs be on the top of my list of things to do. Find out what the tire pressure should be for my girl. I'm not doing my job. Have to change that...

She fired right up for me this time. No hesitating. Music to my ears. Backed her out of the storage unit, only adjusting one time to make it through the little door. Knowing I was planning on taking her on the road, I shut her down for a minute to close the storage slider. Hopped back on her and she purred again for me. I wonder -- will I ever get tired of hearing her start up? My heart melts in those first few minutes and I'm in another world where there is nothing but her, me and the road. It's hypnotic. Nothing else exists.

Decided to get my bearings by riding around the units for awhile. Rode her around in the lot for a good half an hour. Practiced my stopping and starting as that's the only time I've ever had a problem. Shifted, braked, downshifted... practice practice practiced.

As I was going in circles, the manager stopped me and told me that a lot of traffic was going in and out at that moment and I should probably hit the road.

Omgosh... I wasn't ready I told him. I couldn't. It was too soon. I was all alone. What if I dropped her out there? What if something happened to her? To me? To us? How could I do this all alone the first time???

Then I thought, "Where did all those negative thoughts come from?" That's weird. I'm not afraid. I haven't ever been afraid on Hope. I've always done everything all alone. I have always taken care of myself. Period. My plan had been to do just what he said to do. Get on the real road. Go for it.

I rode up to the keypad and put in my code as the manager and his wife gave me the thumbs up. Big breath in. Ok. Here goes nothing.

There's a large incline coming into storage so down the hill out I went without a hitch. Stopped at the end of the driveway and looked for traffic. None. I gave Hope a loving pat and took another deep breath in and then let the clutch out and rolled the throttle. I was on the road!

The shifting was easy. The brakes all worked in sync on my command. Took a couple of sharp curves with no problems. Remembered to "look where I wanted to go." Of course, the speedometer only registered 30 to 30 mph for the most part and I didn't want to go much faster. There were strong wind gusts that made me wobble a few times at the higher speed. Racking my brain from the class, I couldn't remember if the instructor had given us riding tips for in windy conditions. I played it safe.

Topped out today at only 45 mph before backing Hope down to my comfort range. I was able to actually look at my speed for the first time without feeling as if I was going to fall forward. Used my turn signals for the first time also. Used my rear view mirrors to watch the cars behind me. It was surreal. I was riding.

Most of the cars passed me. I didn't care. I was out for a 'put' on my Hope. And I loved it.

Made it back to storage and parked her on my first try through the narrow door. Sat there and smiled for the longest time. We were quite the team today I told her. Within the next month, we'll be riding almost every day. She won't have to go a week without being useful, I reassured her. I know what she needs and will make sure she gets it. One way or another.

Slowly but surely, our dreams are becoming reality. Our reality. Our peace. My Hope loves to ride and rides to live... and she's inside of me.

:-)