Then life happens.
Our childhoods are spent living the expectations of others. Our school years we try to conform to fit in. There are norms in society that we try to adopt just so the world we live in will accept us with open arms. Easy. We try to take the easy path in life so that we don't disappoint others; those we love and those who love us. We get to a point that we would do almost anything for the most important people in our lives. We try to live up to their images of who we are and what they think we should be.
And in the process, we get lost. Our core begins to put up doors to secure who we are so that we can protect those we love. We begin to compromise. We go through life thinking it will be ok in the long run because we've been told that life is just that - compromise. Slowly, we give up a piece of ourselves here and then there to make others happy, to make their life what they want it to be. We don't want to hurt anyone. We want to make everyone comfortable. Safe. Secure. We want to give others their peace.
The problem with this is that eventually our core will cry out for it's own freedom. We will begin to crack under the constant pressure of having to pretend to be something we're not. Maybe we have gained economic freedom, but we have given up our emotional freedom. We have compromised to the point that we can't breathe. This is not living, it's existing.
Then we make the difficult choice to choose ourselves over everyone else in our lives and our worst fears begin to come true. We lose our best friends, our loved ones, and our families. We lose the carefully crafted identity we built in the falseness of compromise. We begin to live honestly and in the process the rest of the world is shocked and disappointed and hurt. We have hurt others simply trying to be who we were meant to be from our beginning. It is exactly what we tried to prevent our entire lives as we lived falsely within everyone else's perception of a perfect reality.
We cannot give someone else happiness. Happiness comes from the inside. Once we discard the fake person everyone else expected us to be and start living who we really are, as we need to be ~ there are a few absolutes that will happen:
You will lose some friends.
Remember, that simply means they were never your friends to begin with.
You may lose some family.
Remember, that simply means that family cares more about their own happiness than yours. It is their problem, their loss... not yours.
You may lose some comfort.
Remember that in times of growth, there is always pain that comes along with the new buds of living life from your inside out. Feel the pain and embrace it because it means you are on your way to a life filled with what your core needs.
You may find yourself on uneven ground emotionally.
Remember to breathe. When you feel down or up or anything in the middle, recognize these are all wonderful feelings to be experienced and loved and lived through. Without the horrible depths of despair, you will never know the wonderful heights of extreme joy.
You may think your life is now unstable. You have given up your stability.
Remember that stability is one of life's falsehoods. There is no such thing as a sure thing. We can't predict what will happen tomorrow. We can't predict today. All of the stable things you work for might be gone in an instant and then you will be starting over again from nothing. It is a cycle in this life we live on earth. We live, we lose, we rebuild. That is life.
You will feel a huge sense of relief to be able to live from your core without the restrictions of others. Embrace all of who you are and run with it! Feel that giddy sense of not having to hide. Feel that wonderful freedom that comes with being able to be who you are and not having to care if anyone wants you, likes you, needs you, or loves you. "Anyone" doesn't matter when you want to be who you are; when you like who you are; when you don't need anyone but yourself to be happy; and when you love yourself enough to let go of anything or anyone who doesn't love you for who you are at the depths of your soul.
And for those who do love you but don't want the *you* that you are, or they want that person to stay hidden because it doesn't fit into their world or reality ~~~ just know that it isn't a loss to walk away and live in your own world. Embrace your own reality. It is freedom. It is relief. It is peace. It is time for you to come out of your cocoon that protected you for so long. It is time to spread your wings and fly.
You can love others without having to live in their world.
You can love yourself enough to walk away from theirs.
You should love everyone enough to never lie to anyone about what you need.
Always always always ~ choose *you*... love *you*... be *you*....
In living your life honestly, you will give yourself the gift of peace.
In loving others without giving up who you are in the process ~
You will live honestly, with integrity...
It will never be a lie for you when you live from your core.
The courage that takes, to live honestly, is the hardest thing to do in life.
Do it anyway.
Be who you were born to be... and love every minute of it.
Love will expand and find you, when you love yourself enough to allow your core to breathe... trust me.
Live without regrets, no matter what the rest of the world thinks.
I am so very proud of you... always have been, always will be.
Be excited for the future that is open to you. It is full of all limitless possibilities.
Remember that life is dynamic, not static. The ONLY constant is change.
Roll with it.
And, finally, remember this last thought:
You deserve to be loved
NOT in spite
of who you are ~
BUT
because
of who you are.
Just as you are...
Never settle for someone who thinks that you are imperfect; those that say they love you in spite of your imperfections. Fuck that shit. People who think that way don't deserve you.
*You* are perfect, just the way you are.
You always have been.
The person who deserves you, who deserves to be loved by you, will see all of you and love all of you AND want all of you... every perfect part of your core. You will never have to hide or be anything but *you* when you are with this person. It will be as easy as breathing. Natural. And you will love them the same way... every part of them.
Never be with someone who wants you to change who you are and never be with someone you think needs to change who they are, in ANY way. Never. It is a constant struggle and a losing battle that is unnecessary in life.
Love does not have to be work.
Love does not have to be hard.
Love does not have to be full of heart ache and sacrifice.
Love does not mean giving up who you are for any other person.
Love does not mean you have to be with the person you love... you can love them always anyway. Sometimes love isn't enough. Just because...
You can continue to love who they are, who they were with you when you were together, what they gave you, and how you both grew during that time. You can love all of someone until you take your last breath simply because that love you have inside will never die. It is theirs for forever. Your love doesn't have to end where someone else's does... it can exist without receiving love back. Cherish it... embrace it... love forever.
Remember, it is always worth the risk to love... or else you haven't lived. Live and love and laugh! Enjoy the moment and don't think about what's next.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails." ~Never
Love without expectations. Love unconditionally.
Forget the rest... just give and receive love.
Not everything I write will be pertinent to what you are going through today.
Tuck it away in the recesses of your mind for another day and let it go.
Life is funny that way. We are all on the same path but at different points in the journey.
I love you... just the way you are.... always have and always will.
Forever and ever.
More than you can fanthom.
Until the end of time... ♥
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