leave fear behind ~ choose to live in the present Part II

Miracle of the Moment **

It's time for letting go
All of our if only's
'Cause we don't have a time machine

And even if we did
Would we really want to use it?
Would we really want to go change everything

'Cause we are who and where and what we are for now
And this is the only moment we can do anything about

So breathe it in and breathe it out
Listen to your heartbeat
There's a wonder in the here and now
It's right there in front of you
And I don't want you to miss the miracle of the moment

There's only One who knows
What's really out there waiting
In all the moments yet to be
And all we need to know
Is He's out there waiting
To Him the future's history

And He has given us a treasure called right now
And this is the only moment we can do anything about

So breathe it in and breathe it out
Listen to your heartbeat
There's a wonder in the here and now
It's right there in front of you
And I don't want you to miss the miracle of the moment

And if it brings you tears
Then taste them as they fall
Let them soften your heart

And if it brings you laughter
Then throw your head back
And let it go
Let it go, yeah
You gotta let it go

And listen to your heartbeat

And breathe it in and breathe it out
And listen to your heartbeat
There's a wonder in the here and now
It's right there in front of you
And I don't want you to miss the miracle of the moment

And breathe it in and breathe it out
And listen to your heartbeat
There's a wonder in the here and now (here and now)
It's right there in front of you
And I don't want you to miss the miracle
Of the moment

Miracle of the Moment - Steven Curtis Chapman

leave fear behind ~ choose to live in the present

There are several threads in different forums I frequent discussing politics and religion, sexuality and gender, society and social 'norms', life and death, the beginning and the end. I wonder at times when we can live in an era where change is being bottled and sold, how we can still have so many adamant and in fear of what is to come.

Is fear necessary in our daily lives?
Do we need the drama of 'what might happen'?
Have we conditioned ourselves to be uncomfortable with contentment?
Do we believe that if we are content, then we're complacent?
Where does it read that being at peace with ourselves and the world is a negative?
What is productive about living in fear?

I wonder why we, as human beings, thrive off of the unknown and seek to constantly create chaos in our daily lives where none exists. What is so attractive about being in the middle of it? Are we, as a society, only comfortable when we are at war with ourselves and with others?

If only we could stop, sit and breathe. Listen to what is around us. Exhale and allow all the chaos to be released into the universe. Calm our hearts and our souls by simply 'being'. Enjoy what is... let go of everything else. Clear our minds. Center ourselves.

What is so difficult about living without drama? Why choose the negative when there is positive all around us? Why embrace things that will eventually make us feel like we're losing it? Why do we drive ourselves crazy? What is the point?

It's a choice boys and girls. Life is given to us. How we live it is OUR choice.

I choose to live drama free.
I choose to walk away from those who create discontent.
I choose calm over chaos.
I choose *me*.

I choose to believe in myself. I value what I believe and don't really care if you value the same things or not. That is your right and your choice to believe as you wish. I have no right to impose my beliefs on you just as you have no right to expect me to believe what you believe. Discussions are one thing. Blindly following is another. If you blindly follow anyone and/or what they believe, you will be sorely disappointed. You must know who *you* are and then live your life accordingly.

My validation comes from within. I don't need it from anyone else. I know who I am and what I believe. Chaos is not allowed inside of me and when I encounter it outside ~ I will walk away. I can control my actions and reactions. So can you.

Life's given us only one chance. Is it worth your life to lose yourself? Live in fear? Create chaos and drama all the time? Argue points that will never meet? Judge others simply because they don't follow you or what you believe?

We have free will to choose. How will you?

This is all there is... love it, live it, laugh and learn from it. Just don't waste it... but if you do ~ that's ok too. After all, it is YOUR choice.

I can only live one life... mine. I live it in the moment. I have no regrets for the past because I don't look to the past for support or validation. I have no inclination to live for the future. Tomorrow may never come and then what? I would miss out on today if I'm constantly looking to tomorrow.

This moment, this breath, this blink of the eye ~ it's all I have right now.
I want to feel it all. The wonder and glory of this moment ~ I want to experience it.
No more. No less. Just this.
I'm living right now... this second... this wonderful glorious second.
And I'm loving it!

Choose life. Choose love. Choose *you*.... trust me, you're worth it.

If you're looking for a guarantee ~ I have one for you:
Things always change. Nothing ever stays the same.
Not even you...

RIP ~ Julie Ann Carpenter

My good friend Tom sent me this e-mail. Please keep Julie's family in your prayers. Thank you.

Rest in peace...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hi Robyn, a friend (and fellow bass player's) wife passed away recently, he set up a web site to honor her and her courageous battle with cancer.

"Never, never, never, never give up!" - Sir Winston Churchill Julie Ann Carpenter passed away on February 20, 2009 after a courageous four-year battle with breast cancer. Her condition was caused by a hereditary genetic mutation (BRCA 1). She died at the age of 46. Julie's search for effective treatments for this terrible disease led her to gather a great deal of research about various current treatments and potential breakthroughs. She traveled to various scientific and medical conferences in order to learn the latest news. Beyond fighting her own battle, Julie became very involved in the greater breast cancer community. She was active on a number of internet forums, where she encouraged others who were also seeking more information, and she shared her knowledge selflessly with her Sister Warriors fighting for a cure. The Julie Ann Carpenter Memorial Fund has been created in order to continue Julie's mission to gather and share cutting edge information about breast cancer. The goal will be to create an endowment that will generate funds each year that will be used to offset travel costs for women who have breast cancer who wish to attend various scientific and medical conferences. The only stipulation is that recipients must be willing to serve as resources to their community, share the knowledge gained, and make available any materials from the conference. Donations are now being accepted to fund the endowment, with the goal of being able to begin assisting breast cancer victims starting in 2010. Memorial gifts can be made payable to: Pasadena Community Foundation (indicate Julie Ann Carpenter Memorial Fund in memo line) 260 S. Los Robles Ave. #119 Pasadena, CA 91101 For more information about the Memorial Fund, please call 213-399-2161 or email info@julieanncarpenter.org Donations are tax deductible and a gift receipt will be provided.

http://www.julieanncarpenter.org/

Happy Birthday Mom!!!

Today is my mom's 71st birthday. She and I had a wonderful day at the movies watching The Curious Life of Benjamin Button (so sad!) and then dinner out at Texas Roadhouse (excellent food!). My mom is much like me... easy to please. It's never taken much to make her smile. Her zest for life and love for others is infectious. She is my hero.

I am grateful to my mother for many things. When my world was at it's bleakest in 2004, she was there for me. When all I could do was sit and cry, she sat silently with me and told me it would be ok. When I felt there was nothing left to do on this earth, she encouraged me to keep breathing. Even though she didn't need me, she made me feel needed, wanted and loved. She was my touchstone during a storm I didn't think I could endure. She always had faith in me.

Today I was able to thank her for being my mother. I thank God every day He gave me her for a mother. No one else has ever understood me as she does. No one else is able to know my heart and core as she has. When God blessed me with her, He gave me a lifesaver. I wouldn't be here today if it hadn't been for her love and support over the years.

Thank you Mom... for all that you do, all that you say and all that you are...
I love you,
Robyn

LPHS Memorial Page Link

Many of our friends and family have passed. On Facebook, La Porte High School classmates have created a wonderful memorial to them all. If you went to school at LPHS, please feel free to come and visit.

I have three family members listed ~ my brother Scott, my sister Stacy and my nephew Jason. May they all rest in peace... Love You Guys!!! Miss you more...


http://www.facebook.com/p.php?i=546233559&k=4ZB525WX454M5CLDTG53RW

~

Body Worlds 2 at HMNS

After a delicious meal of crab cakes and homemade cole slaw at Houston's on Kirby, the Houston Museum of Natural Science was our next stop of the night. Body Worlds 2 & The Brain ~ Our Three Pound Gem is closing this weekend at HMNS and I'd been wanting to see it since the premiere. It was well worth the trip downtown!


For those who have never been, it is indescribable.
For those that want to go, you only have a few hours left before the exhibit moves on.

Our human body is amazing. Our brain unfathomable at it's abilities and possibilities. The workings of our minds, emotional responses, addictions, actions and reactions all tied together in one tiny little three pound gem. The knowledge that most don't understand or recognize what conscious reality is or choose to live without thinking anyway gives insights into a world most take for granted.

The exhibit used huge hangings with quotes from poets to philosophers to physicians to the people who have been our world leaders. Those who know how much I love quotes understand when I say I could have kicked myself for not having pen and paper! lol

There is a Body Worlds 3 focusing on our hearts. I can't wait till Houston has it's premiere. Until then, the next exhibit, Genghis Khan, is opening at the end of this month at HMNS. Very interesting... I may just have to splurge on a membership.

As Facebook allows us to do now, the Houston Museum of Natural Science has my
"I Like" thumbs up!

the difference

"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits."
~Albert Einstein

hope never dies

This is how I try to live my life ~
Believing in the good in all,
Even when I'm disappointed over and over again.
That's why my hope never dies.

~
"Out of all good things, hope is the best thing.
That's why it never dies."
~The Shawshank Redemption


Thanks for sharing Bob!

dare to live ~ dare to live greatly

create your own rainbows

Chackbay Bonfire 2009 - February 14th

I was honored to be invited and attend a very special celebration.
With permission ~ simply sharing...
Turn up the sound first, then enjoy!

consciousness is the only reality

i wanna fly and never come down

Well it has begun officially... my son started his own band with his good friend Kallie. They created their own logo and are using what little equipment they have to record. There is wonderful music filling my home morning, noon and night. I fall asleep listening to Joel's talent and all I can think is I am the luckiest mom alive.
I have talented, smart awesome adult children.
I am so very proud of both Joel and Bethany.
Being able to enjoy what they love is a joy for me.

Life doesn't get any better than this... :)

Please feel free to check out Joel and Kallie's MySpace page, tell them I sent ya and Friend them too. They have named their band, "I wanna fly and never come down."
Love it!!! There's nothing like flying!

It's amazing when your kids understand what it is to really LIVE.

i wanna fly and never come down
~

Bethany & Tommy are coming!!!

Woo hoo! The plane tickets are bought...
Bethany and Tommy are coming for spring break!!!
I can't wait to see you both... love you, Mom :)

a gift from the heart of a Brother

This week a very special gift arrived from one of my BGBB brothers. Holding his handiwork in my hands, tears of joy slid down my cheeks. I know he put his heart and soul into this handcrafted gift made especially for his sister. Especially for me. How do you thank someone for giving from their core to you?
There are no words...

Thank you Brother Dude... I will treasure your gift for the rest of my life.
It will go with me everywhere... always... forever... I love it! *kotc*

you can't move forward if you won't let go...

“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.”
~C.S. Lewis

Whatever part of the past you are holding on to - let go...
It is the only way to a healthy happy life and a future that's best for *you*.

Dress for Success

As my friends know, I lost all of my clothes to Hurricane Ike. That included over twenty business suits and assorted tops, pants, shoes... you get the picture. It wiped out my whole work as well as casual wardrobe and the small amount of accessories and jewelry I owned.

While visiting with a friend, she informed me of a wonderful woman's organization called Dress For Success. This non-profit helps women who want to enter the business world by giving them a suit to wear for interviews. Their motto is From Suits to Self-Sufficiency. Once you are welcomed into their fold, they continue to support you with monthly meetings and networking.

Dress For Success doesn't simply supply you with a suit though. They go all the way ~ dressing you from head to toe with shoes, scarf, jewelry, a handbag and other assorted accessories including the hose. The women that volunteer there are marvelous. The atmosphere and building professional. I can't say enough good about this organization and how they treat women who are trying to rebuild their lives and once again stand on their own two feet.

Quite simply ~ Dress For Success empowers women to be all that they can be by meeting their most basic need to be presentable and confident for an interview.

If you have any business attire you no longer need and it's in like-new condition, please consider donating to this wonderful cause that helps women get back on their feet and enables them to look the part when calling on future job possibilities. At the link below, there are other opportunities to give also. This is a national organization that truly helps all of us, one determined soul at a time, by enabling those without to realize they have all that they need within. Thank you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Who We Are

Dress for Success Worldwide is an international non-profit organization dedicated to improving the lives of women located in 85 cities across the U.S., Canada, the U.K., the Netherlands and New Zealand. The professional clothing, employment retention programs and ongoing support that we provide our clients symbolize our faith in every woman's ability to be self-sufficient and successful in her career.

Dress for Success depends on a team of qualified, passionate and dedicated individuals, organizations and companies, each of whom plays an indispensable role in our success.

The Dress for Success team includes:

• More than 80 affiliates in the U.S., New Zealand, Canada, the Netherlands and the United Kingdom. Each site is an independent, volunteer-driven non-profit organization committed to fulfilling the Dress for Success mission on the local level.
• The staff members of Dress for Success Worldwide, who handle overall management of Dress for Success, provide support to our affiliates and are responsible for stewardship of the brand. In addition, Worldwide coordinates organization-wide fundraising and events.
• The Dress for Success board of directors, which retains legal and fiscal oversight of the organization.
• Our sponsors, who provide critical financial, in-kind and other types of support to the organization.
• A diverse group of foundation and individual supporters, who contribute clothing and funds to Dress for Success and make it possible for us to serve our clients.
• Strategic partners whose services complement and provide greater value to those that we provide to disadvantaged women.
• Our Young Executives for Success (Y.E.S.!)^TM group, a volunteer branch of Dress for Success in New York City for professional women in the fashion, beauty and media industries.
• The founder of Dress for Success, Nancy Lublin, who established the organization in 1996 with a $5,000 inheritance from her great-grandfather, Poppy Max.

http://www.dressforsuccess.org/

thank you Chopperoad... :)

For using your talent to surprise me with a wonderful sig pic below!
Thank you for the name too ~ I love them both...

For anyone looking for some graphics work, check out choP's studio at:

http://paintdotnet.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=26&t=28512

you're as happy as you want to be

I have always felt that happiness was a decision we choose to make within the fabric of our lives. It's not something that happens to us ~ it's a state of reality that we create for ourselves. Abraham Lincoln got it exactly right when he said, "Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."

A scientific study was conducted by a professor at University of California Riverside regarding happiness attempting to answer the age old question, "Why are some people happier than others?" The result was the book, "The How of Happiness."

Here is some of Dr. Lyubomirsky's research regarding happiness. Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sonja Lyubomirsky

Professor
Ph.D. Stanford University
(951) 827-5041 (msg only)
sonja.lyubomirsky@ucr.edu

The majority of my research career has been devoted to studying human happiness. Why is the scientific study of happiness important? In short, because most people believe happiness is meaningful, desirable, and an important, worthy goal, because happiness is one of the most salient and significant dimensions of human experience and emotional life, because happiness yields numerous rewards for the individual, and because it makes for a better, healthier, stronger society. Along these lines, my current research addresses three critical questions - 1) What makes people happy?; 2) Is happiness a good thing?; and 3) How can we make people happier still?

Why Are Some People Happier Than Others?

I have always been struck by the capacity of some individuals to be remarkably happy, even in the face of stress, trauma, or adversity. Thus, my earlier research efforts had been focused on trying to understand why some people are happier than others. To this end, my approach has been to explore the cognitive and motivational processes that distinguish individuals who show exceptionally high and low levels of happiness. These processes include social comparison (how people compare themselves to peers), dissonance reduction (how people justify both trivial and important choices in their lives), self-evaluation (how people judge themselves), and person perception (how people think about others). All of these processes, it turns out, have hedonic implications - that is, positive or negative consequences for happiness and self-regard - and thus are relevant to elucidating individual differences in enduring well-being. My empirical findings over the years have revealed that chronically happy and unhappy individuals differ systematically and in a manner supportive of their differing temperaments in the particular cognitive and motivational strategies they use. For example, my students and I have found that truly happy individuals construe life events and daily situations in ways that seem to maintain their happiness, while unhappy individuals construe experiences in ways that seem to reinforce unhappiness. In essence, our research shows that happy individuals experience and react to events and circumstances in relatively more positive and more adaptive ways.

On-going studies in my laboratory are exploring additional cognitive and motivational processes that support the differing worlds of enduring happiness versus chronic unhappiness. For example, several investigations have revealed that unhappy individuals are more likely than happy ones to dwell on negative or ambiguous events. Such "dwelling" or rumination may drain cognitive resources and thus bring to bear a variety of negative consequences, which could further reinforce unhappiness. These findings demonstrate some of the maladaptive by-products of self-reflection, suggesting that not only is the "unexamined life" worth living, but it is potentially full of happiness and joy.

To cast our work on happiness in a broader framework, we have also been exploring the meaning and expression of happiness and suffering across cultures and subcultures. For example, current research is investigating the value and reasonableness of the pursuit of happiness in "meritocratic" vs. "non-meritocratic" cultures (e.g., U.S. and Russia, respectively). Our preliminary findings suggest that Russians are less concerned with the pursuit of happiness, less likely to deem happiness as attainable or stable, and less likely to publicly express happiness than their American counterparts.

What Are the Benefits of Happiness?

A recent interest has steered me from the search of the roots of happiness to an examination of its consequences. Is happiness a good thing? Or, does it just simply feel good? A recent review of all the available literature has revealed that happiness does indeed have numerous positive byproducts, which appear to benefit not only individuals, but families, communities, and the society at large. The benefits of happiness include higher income and superior work outcomes (e.g., greater productivity and higher quality of work), larger social rewards (e.g., more satisfying and longer marriages, more friends, stronger social support, and richer social interactions), more activity, energy, and flow, and better physical health (e.g., a bolstered immune system, lowered stress levels, and less pain) and even longer life. The literature, my colleagues and I have found, also suggests that happy individuals are more creative, helpful, charitable, and self-confident, have better self-control, and show greater self-regulatory and coping abilities. On-going and future experimental and longitudinal studies that attempt to increase the long-term happiness of students and working adults will give us the opportunity to assess whether increases in durable happiness predict changes in other positive outcomes, such as altruistic behavior, creativity, work performance, physical health, and social relationships.

The Architecture of Sustainable Happiness

An ongoing program of research, funded by the National Institute of Health, is asking the question, "How can happiness be reliably increased?" Despite pessimism from the current literature that the pursuit of happiness may be largely futile, my colleagues and I believe that durable increases in happiness are indeed possible and within the average person's reach. Thus, following my construal theory of happiness, I have begun to explore how the cognitive and motivational processes and biases associated with relatively greater happiness can be nurtured, acquired, or directly taught. To this end, my current research focus is investigating the mechanisms by which a chronic happiness level higher than one's genetically-determined set point can be achieved and sustained. My colleagues and I believe that sustainable increases in happiness are possible through the practice of intentional cognitive, motivational, and behavioral activites that are feasible to deploy but require daily and concerted effort and commitment

My students and I are currently conducting several experimental intervention studies in which participants' cognitive and behavioral strategies are systematically retrained. For example, current intervention studies are testing the efficacy of three potential volitional strategies, two cognitive and one behavioral: 1) regularly setting aside time to recall moments of gratitude (i.e., keeping a journal in which one "counts one's blessings" or writing a gratitude letter), 2) engaging in self-regulatory and positive thinking about oneself (i.e., reflecting, writing, and talking about one's happiest and unhappiest life events or one's goals for the future), and 3) practicing altruism and kindness (i.e., routinely committing acts of kindness). Furthermore, we are testing whether the benefits of such activities differ across cultures, and whether they are influenced by person-activity "fit," motivation, persistence, and expectations.

Thwarting Hedonic Adaptation

Finally, my newest line of research focuses on hedonic adaptation to positive experience as a critical barrier to raising happiness. After all, if people become accustomed to (and take for granted) anything positive that happens to them, then how can they ever become happier? A new model suggests that adaptation to positive experience proceeds via two paths: 1) through diminished positive emotions and 2) through increased aspirations. The key to achieving increased and lasting well-being thereby lies in effortful, intentional activities that slow down or preclude the positive adaptation process. Current studies are testing the hypothesis that such activities share several properties that potentially help them to effectively forestall adaptation: they are dynamic, episodic, novel, and attention-enticing.

Selected Publications

• Lyubomirsky, S. (2008). The how of happiness: A scientific approach to getting the life you want. New York: Penguin Press. Visit the book's website.
  
  
• Lyubomirsky, S., Sheldon, K. M., & Schkade, D. (2005). Pursuing happiness: The architecture of sustainable change. Review of General Psychology, 9, 111-131.
  
  
• Lyubomirsky, S., King, L. A., & Diener, E. (2005). The benefits of frequent positive affect: Does happiness lead to success? Psychological Bulletin, 131, 803-855.
  
  
• Nolen-Hoeksema, S., Wisco, B. E., & Lyubomirsky, S. (2008). Rethinking rumination. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 3, 400-424.
  
  
• Lyubomirsky, S., Sousa, L., Dickerhoof, R. (2006). The costs and benefits of writing, talking, and thinking about life's triumphs and defeats. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 90, 692-708.
  
  
• Boehm, J. K., & Lyubomirsky, S. (in press). Enduring happiness. In S. J. Lopez (Ed.), Handbook of positive psychology. Oxford: Oxford University Press.
  
  
• Lyubomirsky, S., & Tkach, C. (2003). The consequences of dysphoric rumination. In C. Papageorgiou & A. Wells (Eds.), Rumination: Nature, theory, and treatment of negative thinking in depression (pp. 21-41). Chichester, England: John Wiley & Sons.
  
  
• Schwartz, B., Ward, A. H., Monterosso, J., Lyubomirsky, S., White, K., & Lehman, D. (2002). Maximizing versus satisficing: Happiness is a matter of choice. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 83, 1178-1197.
  
  
• Lyubomirsky, S. (2001). Why are some people happier than others?: The role of cognitive and motivational processes in well-being. American Psychologist, 56, 239-249.
  
  
• Lyubomirsky, S., & Ross, L. (1999). Changes in attractiveness of elected, rejected, and precluded alternatives: A comparison of happy and unhappy individuals. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 76, 988-1007.
  
  
• Lyubomirsky, S., Tucker, K.L., Caldwell, N.D., & Berg, K. (1999). Why ruminators are poor problem solvers: Clues from the phenomenology of dysphoric rumination. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 77, 1041-1060.
  
  Copyright 2008 Sonja Lyubomirsky