missing my sister today...

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Some days it just hits you. You have a negative event cross your path. Or you lose a friend or two and are sad. Or you have a feeling of longing. Wanting. Needing someone to talk to and it just hits you. One of your best friends is gone for forever.

You can't call them and hear their voice. You can't listen to them crack jokes to make things lighter. You can't listen to them tell you about the news, the weather, what's happening on their favorite tv show or what movie they're watching that day. You can't listen to them brag about their children and grandchildren and the funny things that happened yesterday or the day before or what's going to happen today or tomorrow. You can't hear them say how much they love them and you and all the others in their life.

There are no more of those tomorrow's for them... or for us.

You can't listen to them sob as their tears tell their story. Of loss. Of loneliness. Of sadness. Of pain, and grief and hurt. You are always in awe of how fast the tears dry up though, and how joyfully they move on after sharing their core. One thing you know, they don't ever pity themselves. The sadness doesn't last. They don't have a victim mentality. They are probably the strongest person you know and you admire them greatly for who they are and how they have survived what life has thrown them.

You can't touch them through the phone or in person anymore. You can't lean on them and have them lean on you. The emptiness they leave in a life is tremendous. The ache forever there. The tears flow as you wish you could hold them and tell them how loved they are and how missed they will always be... always.

It never goes away.
We simply have to honor them by living our lives every day.

I miss you Stacy.
I love you always.
I wish you were here.