a tap at the door to my heart

The "tap" at my slider was loud enough to make me look up from my morning cup of coffee at the break of dawn. It wasn't a bird, I thought... too small. It wasn't a butterfly... too solid of a hit. I watched as 'whatever it was' flitted away and then glanced back down to the business at hand, not curious to think of the incident any further. An hour or so later a walk through the backyard to put out the garbage for today's pickup brought me face to face with what *it* was... a dragonfly.

There has never been a dragonfly in my backyard. Actually, I don't believe I've ever seen one up close in my whole life. Holding my breath thinking that would stop it from being scared away, my eyes followed it's flight. First rapidly around my small yard it would dart past me over and over again. Then, as I stood as still as one could stand, it stopped racing and hovered within two feet of me. It darted to one side of me, stopped and hovered, and then darted to the other side as if looking me over. What do you want to tell me? I thought. Do you think I really care to hear it? I subconsciously told it.

I stood there wondering why this little one chose my yard to play in this morning and my door to knock on. Out of all the yards in the world, why mine? My arm extended and hand outstretched very slowly, I whispered to it that if it needed to rest, it was welcome to rest with me. Not knowing what to call it, I decided to call it a "he".

He had the brightest blue body I've ever seen in real life on an insect. The same blue from the 8 x 10 photos that Faith captured with her camera for me of the blue butterflies in flight that now sit next to my desk beautifully framed to remind me of happy times when I had Hope in my life. The dragonfly wings were, as best as I could tell, gray in color and he flicked them so rapidly that they were undetectable except for the movement in the air staying his way. He was at least two inches long so the perceivable "POP" of his body hitting my slider time and time again made sense by his size.

After a long while I stopped watching him and went inside to finish more work, not curious to go any further with the encounter. Today was not a day that I wanted to find meaning in anything. No messages were asked for or desired. I didn't want to think, ponder, figure anything out or understand anything. I simply wanted to be... to just breathe. This week I just wanted to breathe.

Funny thing about messages. Even when you don't want to hear them, they are there waiting for you. Even when you want to stop and take nothing more in as you are on overload already, you find that there is more and it comes to you anyway ~ with or without your permission. The simple act of breathing invites them in. Like the song so aptly states, "We are programmed to receive..."

The dragonfly hit my glass slider several more times. What did it want? I began to question it's purpose in my morning. It was a persistent little bug against my stubborn self of ambivalence. Finally, by the third hit well into my day, I caved and went to my computer to look up the symbolism of the flying messenger trying so insistently to get my attention.

I should be shocked by what was discovered, but I am not. Things have always happened in my world that would be considered "strange" for others. Acceptance is key. Messages have always come in many forms and the dragonfly was this morning's messenger.

First, knowing that it's almost one year since Stacy died, it was no surprise to read what Native Americans believe about dragonflies. What you or I do or don't believe doesn't matter to the message. Messages are rarely about our convictions and almost always for our emotional well being and benefit. The perception would be that a message was to be received by me (whether I wanted it or not! lol) and who better to deliver that message than Stacy?

What does a dragonfly symbolize?

Hope
Change
Love

The power of life...

Delivered by a messenger wanting the following message to be heard loud and clear:

Life is short ~ live it to the fullest!

It's not like I haven't heard this before, I preach it to every single person I know every chance I get. But it's the reminder that we all need when life is changing and things are going in a new direction. The message was one of comfort, not education. Affirmation, not declaration. Understanding, not accusation. Acknowledgment... the future is here and we have all the power of life living within our core to embrace it head on to live life to it's fullest!

Whatever your day brings, keep an ear out for your message. Keep an eye out for the messenger. Keep your heart open for the message you are programmed to receive. Sometimes things don't happen in our timing ~ but whatever happens and when it happens ~ it is how it's supposed to be. Don't ever forget that you only have one life. Live it fully every day with no regrets for yesterday and no anxiety for tomorrow. Today is a present... a gift for us to open. What's inside is up to you to find and fill and frame for your memories.

As the dragonfly teaches us, we only have today...
That's all we need to fly free.

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"The meaning of a dragonfly changes with each culture. The main symbolisms of the dragonfly are renewal, positive force and the power of life in general. Dragonflies can also be a symbol of the sense of self that comes with maturity. Also, as a creature of the wind, the dragonfly frequently represents change. And as a dragonfly lives a short life, it knows it must live its life to the fullest with the short time it has – which is a lesson for all of us.

There are many different representations of the dragonfly; it all comes down to which culture you happen to be in. For instance, if you are in Japan, the dragonfly symbolizes a new light and joy. Some animal symbolism has the dragonfly representing good luck, prosperity, swiftness, purity, harmony and strength. Some Native Americans believe dragonflies are the souls of the dead. There are also many cultures that believe that the meaning of a dragonfly is happiness, courage and subconscious thoughts. It is also believed that if you see two dragonflies paired together that they represent love and maturity.

The dragonfly has been a symbol of happiness, new beginnings and change for many centuries and even though the representation of the dragonfly seems to change throughout the cultures, there are still a few things that are similar; the dragonfly means hope, change and love. Since cultures vary, others may see the dragonfly as a symbol of financial wealth like savings. With the constant changing of the world, it is no wonder that more and more people are adopting the dragonfly as their totem and admiring this beautiful insect."

http://www.dragonfly-site.com/meaning-symbolize.html