“The happiest people don’t have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything they have. Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God."
~Unknown~
Showing posts with label Highly Recommend. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Highly Recommend. Show all posts
Monday, May 21, 2012
"Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose.
"Don’t aim at success. The more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side effect of one’s personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one’s surrender to a person other than oneself. Happiness must happen, and the same holds for success: you have to let it happen by not caring about it.
"I want you to listen to what your conscience commands you to do and go on to carry it out to the best of your knowledge. Then you will live to see that in the long-run – in the long-run, I say! – success will follow you precisely because you had forgotten to think about it.
"We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.
"A human being is not one thing among others; things determine each other, but man is ultimately self-determining. What he becomes – within the limits of endowment and environment- he has made out of himself. In the concentration camps, for example, in this living laboratory and on this testing ground, we watched and witnessed some of our comrades behave like swine while others behaved like saints. Man has both potentialities within himself; which one is actualized depends on decisions but not on conditions."
~Viktor E. Frankl
“Nothing comes ahead of its time, and nothing has ever happened that didn’t need to happen."
~Byron Katie
Don't regret your past... it made you who you are today.
Don't worry about your future... you miss out living this day.
Live in the moment.
Accept the timing of the ebb and flow of your day to day life.
Whatever is meant to be, will happen... hold on for the ride and fly! :)
“Life is simple. Everything happens for you, not to you. Everything happens at exactly the right moment, neither too soon nor too late. You don't have to like it... it's just easier if you do.”
― Byron Katie
“Placing the blame or judgment on someone else leaves you powerless to change your experience; taking responsibility for your beliefs and judgments gives you the power to change them”
― Byron Katie
“As long as you think that the cause of your problem is “out there”—as long as you think that anyone or anything is responsible for your suffering—the situation is hopeless. It means that you are forever in the role of victim, that you’re suffering in paradise.”
― Byron Katie, Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life
“A thought is harmless unless we believe it. It’s not our thoughts, but our attachment to our thoughts, that causes suffering. Attaching to a thought means believing that it’s true, without inquiring. A belief is a thought that we’ve been attaching to, often for years.”
― Byron Katie, Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life
“How do you react when you think you need people's love? Do you become a slave for their approval? Do you live an inauthentic life because you can't bear the thought that they might disapprove of you? Do you try to figure out how they would like you to be, and then try to become that, like a chameleon? In fact, you never really get their love. You turn into someone you aren't, and then when they say "I love you," you can't believe it, because they're loving a facade. They're loving someone who doesn't even exist, the person you're pretending to be. It's difficult to seek other people's love. It's deadly. In seeking it, you lose what is genuine. This is the prison we create for ourselves as we seek what we already have.”
― Byron Katie
“If you put your hand into a fire, does anyone have to tell you to move it? Do you have to decide? No: When your hand starts to burn, it moves. You don’t have to direct it; the hand moves itself. In the same way, once you understand, through inquiry, that an untrue thought causes suffering, you move away from it.”
― Byron Katie, Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life
“Our parents, our children, our spouses, and our friends will continue to press every button we have, until we realize what it is that we don't want to know about ourselves, yet. They will point us to our freedom every time.”
― Byron Katie, Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life
“Since the beginning of time, people have been trying to change the world so that they can be happy. This hasn’t ever worked, because it approaches the problem backward. What The Work gives us is a way to change the projector—mind—rather than the projected. It’s like when there’s a piece of lint on a projector’s lens. We think there’s a flaw on the screen, and we try to change this person and that person, whomever the flaw appears on next. But it’s futile to try to change the projected images. Once we realize where the lint is, we can clear the lens itself. This is the end of suffering, and the beginning of a little joy in paradise.”
― Byron Katie
“You are your only hope, because we're not changing until you do. Our job is to keep coming at you, as hard as we can, with everything that angers, upsets, or repulses you, until you understand. We love you that much, whether we're aware of it or not. The whole world is about you.”
― Byron Katie, Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life
Byron Kathleen Mitchell (née Reid), better known as Byron Katie, born December 6, 1942, is an American speaker and author who teaches a method of self-inquiry known as "The Work of Byron Katie" or simply as "The Work."
Byron Kathleen Reid (or "Katie," as she is often called) became severely depressed in her early thirties. She was a businesswoman and mother who lived in Barstow, a small town in the high desert of southern California. According to Katie, for nearly a decade she spiralled down into paranoia, rage, self-loathing, and constant thoughts of suicide; for the last two years she was often unable to leave her bedroom. Then, one morning in February 1986, while in a halfway house for women with eating disorders, she experienced a life-changing realization. She called it “waking up to reality.” In that moment of enlightenment, she says,
"I discovered that when I believed my thoughts, I suffered, but that when I didn’t believe them, I didn’t suffer, and that this is true for every human being. Freedom is as simple as that. I found that suffering is optional. I found a joy within me that has never disappeared, not for a single moment."
According to journalist Allison Adato, soon afterwards people started seeking Katie out and asking how they could find the freedom that they saw in her. People from her town, and eventually from elsewhere, came to meet her, and some to even live with her.
Katie is not aligned with any particular religion or tradition. She is married to the writer and translator Stephen Mitchell, who co-wrote her first book, Loving What Is and her third book, A Thousand Names for Joy.
Katie calls her method of self-inquiry "The Work." She describes it as an embodiment, in words, of the wordless questioning that had woken up in her on that February morning. Adato further writes that as reports spread about the transformations people felt they were experiencing through The Work, Katie was invited to present it publicly elsewhere in California, then throughout the United States, and eventually in Europe and across the world. She has taught her method to people at free public events, in prisons, hospitals, churches, corporations, shelters for survivors of domestic violence, universities and schools, at weekend intensives, and at her nine-day "School for The Work."
Bibliography
* Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life
* I Need Your Love - Is That True? How to Stop Seeking Love, Appreciation, and Approval and Start Finding Them Instead
* A Thousand Names for Joy: Living in Harmony with the Way Things Are
* Question Your Thinking, Change the World: Quotations from Byron Katie
* Who Would You Be Without Your Story?: Dialogues with Byron Katie
* Tiger-Tiger, Is It True?
Every day I enjoy reading others. Their thoughts... their dreams... their passions. In a round about sort of way, my blog has always included others. I link to them when I quote them. I want to make sure that all who come here can jump over "there"... wherever that particular thought or post touched them at their core. Today, I want to share one about passion.
Passion is what makes my heart beat faster. It catches my breath in my throat and makes me stop and feel all the wonder of that moment. I love being passionate! About my family, about my work, about my life... about my babies. I love finding new passions and running with them. To some, it is my biggest fault... to others my greatest gift. I choose to believe what makes me who I am is a gift... as it does you too. *You* have many gifts and the passion flowing through your veins is what will make you feel alive again and again.
Here is one girl's thoughts about passion. I hope her words touch your heart and allow you to take flight... to live... to find something new to make your heart leap... to always always always ~ make you feel alive.
Amidst the responses here and in my inbox from people who knew what they loved and wanted, were some who didn’t.
I don’t believe there’s a single person on Earth who ISN’T passionate, who didn’t have a dream growing up.
But somewhere along the line, you lost sight.
Except, you didn’t really.
Something happened.
Something that scared you into hiding your dreams deep inside, safe from the world, from anyone who might crush them before they’ve had a chance to come true.
Maybe you got laughed at or told to grow up
Maybe you went after something you wanted and failed, so gave up
Maybe you do know what you want but are too afraid to say it out loud
Or they seem too small / big / silly / outrageous / normal
Maybe you hide them because you want something you think you shouldn’t
A major reason you can get stuck answering this question is thinking that you need to have one answer for this.
Find that one overriding passion you can dedicate your life to, to find your ‘purpose’ in life.
Being a multipassionate person, it’s no wonder you struggle with this!
Because you’re looking for THE passion.
Which mostly doesn’t exist.
Life isn’t about finding the ‘ultimate’ passion, it’s about living out all of them in varying degrees. Choosing what feels good, what feels resonant with you. Deciding what you want to experience next.
Like I said in that post about passion – the happiest people in the world are those who have a goal/dream and are making progress towards it.
Why is this so important?
Because a life without dreams, a life without passion is half a life. It leads to regrets and sadness. And btw, when I say passion I don’t mean activism or jumping out of planes – it could be something like reading or walking too.
Your passions are very personal and unique to you, even if others share the same passions cos how you interpret them and bring them into your life is something only you can do.
Oh and your dreams, your desires are 10000% valid JUST because you have them. You do NOT have to defend them to anyone, or feel guilty about wanting what you want, k?
There’s no time like the present to get started. So here are 5 ways to help you find, own and live your passionate life out loud.
1) Ask the right questions:
What makes you smile?
What makes you lose time?
What comes naturally to you?
What can’t you stop talking about?
What are you really awesome at doing?
If you knew you could not fail, what would you do?
What would you do for free because you love it so much?
If you had 12 months to live, would you still be doing what you’re doing now?
Yeah but … thoughts are starting to pop up, aren’t they? Listen, just for now, ignore the voice that says ‘this is impractical’ or ‘this will never happen’. Send it out for a walk.
Then grab a journal or piece of paper and start answering these questions. Give yourself a chunk of time or a few minutes of ‘fantasy’ time a day to do this. That’s how you let go of the practicalities for the moment. No BUTS allowed.
2) Think about a time when you felt the happiest & most alive!
Describe the scene. What was happening? Who were you with? What were you doing? What was being said about / to you? How were you feeling? What did you love about that moment?
Eg: A time I felt really alive was when I was in Delhi with my friends and we all jumped into a car in the middle of the night and drove into the city to get ice-cream at India Gate. We’d been hanging out at a friend’s place laughing and talking and someone suggested we go for a joyride. It was so spontaneous and fun, we laughed ALL the way, sang songs in the car and ribbed each other. I felt completely fulfilled, joyous, connected.
From this I get that I am passionate about fun, community and connection and any work that I do has to have these elements in them for me to feel truly alive and living my dream.
I’m also really happy when I am sipping hot chocolate and reading a book by the window as it rains and thunders outside. What I love about that is how mysterious and beautiful it seems from my cozy warm home.
This shows me that learning, nature and alone time is also important to me. So my ideal life must somehow incorporate these as well.
3) Go into your childhood
As a child you knew exactly what you wanted. Those weren’t just flights of fancy, they are real clues to finding your passion. If you don’t remember, ask your mom.
If you wanted to be an astronaut, what about it fascinated you? What did you love the most about the idea? Was it the adventure? The unknown? The enormity? The glory? The exclusivity? Start mining for these little pieces of gold.
They hold the keys to what makes you tick.
If you wanted to be a singer or teacher but didn’t have the voice or lost the passion for it, don’t give up hope! Maybe you won’t be a rock star but you can still have singing in your life in other ways. You could teach singing, join a karaoke club, sing for fun, go to concerts etc. Get creative!
Btw, not every passion has to turn into a living. Thinking that is a big mistake.
Something or someone killed your dreams when you were a child. You are now responsible for bringing them back to life in ways that work for you.
Don’t ever let anyone tell you you can’t do something. Not even you.
"Don't ever let somebody tell you...
...you can't do something.
Not even me.
All right?
- All right.
You got a dream...
...you gotta protect it.
People can't do something themselves...
...they wanna tell you you can't do it.
If you want something, go get it. Period."
~Christopher Gardner, The Pursuit of Happyness
4) Mine for Values
How you do one thing is how you do everything. You may not have realised it but everything you do in life has to do with your values and belief systems.
A value is your moral and personal guide and compass to life.
A belief is a premise that you hold as truth, whether it is or not.
Together, these 2 are what determine how you live your life, respond, react, communicate, think and act. Eg: having a value of say, adventure, would tell you that you’re passionate about new experiences, learning and using certain skills.
Knowing this comes in handy when it comes to the kind of life and career you choose.
Don’t know what your values are? Start here with this list of values by Steve Pavlina and write down the ones that speak to you. Another way to do it is to create your own.
After all, this is your life – you get to live it your way and that includes deciding what values you want to prioritise. If everything you say and do is based on your values and beliefs, wouldn’t YOU rather be in charge of creating empowering ones instead of subconsciously being run by them?
5) Look into the Future
Imagine your life 10 years down the line. If you kept doing what you’re doing today, believing what you believe today, would you be happy where you end up? Or is there something you need to change?
The things you want to do today that scare you – if you never did them, would you regret them in 10 years? 5? 1?
If so, I want you to read this:
There are the top 5 regrets of terminally ill patients:
I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me
I wish I didn’t work so hard
I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings
I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends
I wish that I had let myself be happier
(source: Inspiration and Chai)
Which one of these regrets sounds like you?
It’s not too late to start living the life you want, not the life you think you should have. It never is.
If there is no passion in your life, then have you really lived? Find your passion, whatever it may be. Become it, and let it become you and you will find great things happen FOR you, TO you and BECAUSE of you.” – Alan Armstrong.
I want to know: What’s your dream? How did you find your passion? Please leave a comment, thanks!
My Christmas wishes have all come true today. There is nothing more I want or need. Our home is filled with love, laughter, and all of my children... I am rich beyond words.
Now please please understand me
I ain't lookin for your sympathy
But every step I take
I feel the ground crumblin' right behind me
Oh yes I do
So strong these urges I have
Of burning bridges I'm still standing on
Ohho
And I'm tired
You know I'm tired
But I keep trying
You know I try
But some, hell babe
Something always seem to go wrong
Same old same trying to get me down
Mother Mercy ain't nowhere to be found
Oh no
No surrender
My soul can't be bound
Mother Mercy ain't nowhere to be found
Don't come around
Now I'm gonna do what I gotta do
To keep my feet in time today
Cause this world just preys on your heart
Till you get me to roll from the start
And I just can't babe
No I ain't going out that way
No no
Same old same trying to get me down
Mother Mercy ain't nowhere to be found
Oh no
No surrender
My soul can't be bound
Mother Mercy just can't be found
She don't come around
No
Oooooo
Ohohhh
Now please please understand me
I ain't looking for no sympathy
No no no no
But every step I take
I feel the ground crumble and shake
You know it's coming babe
See it's coming right behind
Same old same trying to get me down
Mother Mercy ain't nowhere to be found
Oh no
No surrender
My soul can't be bound
Mother Mercy ain't nowhere to be found
Don't come around
Oooooooo
Ohohhh
I believe we are born knowing who we are at our core...
Then life happens.
Our childhoods are spent living the expectations of others. Our school years we try to conform to fit in. There are norms in society that we try to adopt just so the world we live in will accept us with open arms. Easy. We try to take the easy path in life so that we don't disappoint others; those we love and those who love us. We get to a point that we would do almost anything for the most important people in our lives. We try to live up to their images of who we are and what they think we should be.
And in the process, we get lost. Our core begins to put up doors to secure who we are so that we can protect those we love. We begin to compromise. We go through life thinking it will be ok in the long run because we've been told that life is just that - compromise. Slowly, we give up a piece of ourselves here and then there to make others happy, to make their life what they want it to be. We don't want to hurt anyone. We want to make everyone comfortable. Safe. Secure. We want to give others their peace.
The problem with this is that eventually our core will cry out for it's own freedom. We will begin to crack under the constant pressure of having to pretend to be something we're not. Maybe we have gained economic freedom, but we have given up our emotional freedom. We have compromised to the point that we can't breathe. This is not living, it's existing.
Then we make the difficult choice to choose ourselves over everyone else in our lives and our worst fears begin to come true. We lose our best friends, our loved ones, and our families. We lose the carefully crafted identity we built in the falseness of compromise. We begin to live honestly and in the process the rest of the world is shocked and disappointed and hurt. We have hurt others simply trying to be who we were meant to be from our beginning. It is exactly what we tried to prevent our entire lives as we lived falsely within everyone else's perception of a perfect reality.
We cannot give someone else happiness. Happiness comes from the inside. Once we discard the fake person everyone else expected us to be and start living who we really are, as we need to be ~ there are a few absolutes that will happen:
You will lose some friends.
Remember, that simply means they were never your friends to begin with.
You may lose some family.
Remember, that simply means that family cares more about their own happiness than yours. It is their problem, their loss... not yours.
You may lose some comfort.
Remember that in times of growth, there is always pain that comes along with the new buds of living life from your inside out. Feel the pain and embrace it because it means you are on your way to a life filled with what your core needs.
You may find yourself on uneven ground emotionally.
Remember to breathe. When you feel down or up or anything in the middle, recognize these are all wonderful feelings to be experienced and loved and lived through. Without the horrible depths of despair, you will never know the wonderful heights of extreme joy.
You may think your life is now unstable. You have given up your stability.
Remember that stability is one of life's falsehoods. There is no such thing as a sure thing. We can't predict what will happen tomorrow. We can't predict today. All of the stable things you work for might be gone in an instant and then you will be starting over again from nothing. It is a cycle in this life we live on earth. We live, we lose, we rebuild. That is life.
You will feel a huge sense of relief to be able to live from your core without the restrictions of others. Embrace all of who you are and run with it! Feel that giddy sense of not having to hide. Feel that wonderful freedom that comes with being able to be who you are and not having to care if anyone wants you, likes you, needs you, or loves you. "Anyone" doesn't matter when you want to be who you are; when you like who you are; when you don't need anyone but yourself to be happy; and when you love yourself enough to let go of anything or anyone who doesn't love you for who you are at the depths of your soul.
And for those who do love you but don't want the *you* that you are, or they want that person to stay hidden because it doesn't fit into their world or reality ~~~ just know that it isn't a loss to walk away and live in your own world. Embrace your own reality. It is freedom. It is relief. It is peace. It is time for you to come out of your cocoon that protected you for so long. It is time to spread your wings and fly.
You can love others without having to live in their world.
You can love yourself enough to walk away from theirs.
You should love everyone enough to never lie to anyone about what you need.
Always always always ~ choose *you*... love *you*... be *you*....
In living your life honestly, you will give yourself the gift of peace.
In loving others without giving up who you are in the process ~
You will live honestly, with integrity...
It will never be a lie for you when you live from your core.
The courage that takes, to live honestly, is the hardest thing to do in life.
Do it anyway.
Be who you were born to be... and love every minute of it.
Love will expand and find you, when you love yourself enough to allow your core to breathe... trust me.
Live without regrets, no matter what the rest of the world thinks.
I am so very proud of you... always have been, always will be.
Be excited for the future that is open to you. It is full of all limitless possibilities.
Remember that life is dynamic, not static. The ONLY constant is change.
Roll with it.
And, finally, remember this last thought:
You deserve to be loved NOTin spite of who you are ~
BUT
because of who you are. Just as you are...
Never settle for someone who thinks that you are imperfect; those that say they love you in spite of your imperfections. Fuck that shit. People who think that way don't deserve you.
The person who deserves you, who deserves to be loved by you, will see all of you and love all of you AND want all of you... every perfect part of your core. You will never have to hide or be anything but *you* when you are with this person. It will be as easy as breathing. Natural. And you will love them the same way... every part of them.
Never be with someone who wants you to change who you are and never be with someone you think needs to change who they are, in ANY way. Never. It is a constant struggle and a losing battle that is unnecessary in life.
Love does not have to be work.
Love does not have to be hard.
Love does not have to be full of heart ache and sacrifice.
Love does not mean giving up who you are for any other person.
Love does not mean you have to be with the person you love... you can love them always anyway. Sometimes love isn't enough. Just because...
You can continue to love who they are, who they were with you when you were together, what they gave you, and how you both grew during that time. You can love all of someone until you take your last breath simply because that love you have inside will never die. It is theirs for forever. Your love doesn't have to end where someone else's does... it can exist without receiving love back. Cherish it... embrace it... love forever.
Remember, it is always worth the risk to love... or else you haven't lived. Live and love and laugh! Enjoy the moment and don't think about what's next.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails." ~Never
Love without expectations. Love unconditionally.
Forget the rest... just give and receive love.
Not everything I write will be pertinent to what you are going through today.
Tuck it away in the recesses of your mind for another day and let it go.
Life is funny that way. We are all on the same path but at different points in the journey.
I love you... just the way you are.... always have and always will.
Forever and ever.
More than you can fanthom.
Until the end of time... ♥
One of my favorite contemporary books is Eat, Pray, Love written by Elizabeth Gilbert. Her voice is honest, open, and truthful as she relates her journey to finding happiness, peace, contentment, and love in a world that wants to tell us what should make us happy or what we should feel or what we should do.
After the week you all know I've had with Samantha and not knowing what was causing her paralysis and vomiting, a search was on for trying to find some level of comprehension and understanding while she was/is ill and recuperating. I found this excellent segment and am sharing it. If you love animals and you have pets, it is a *must see* show!
UPDATE: Sam is walking much better; barely a wobble but
For Mother's Day, my caring loving daughter gave me the best gift one could give me. I received a card today that said:
"Mom, I have decided to share your love of books with children who desperately need them - in honor of you this Mother's Day. Your love of learning has now spread around the world!"
Here is a bit more of what was on the card (I love this gift!):
For the first time in two and a half years, since September 12th, 2008 and Hurricane Ike... for the first time I was back behind a set of my own handlebars, flying.
Went over to Iron Mike's today to pick up the FXE. It was a gorgeous day in the high 70's... sunny... perfect riding weather. Sat on the her for the first time since I finished making payments. Eight long months. I didn't want to get too attached as my son is going to be riding this one but oh! What a ride she delivers!!! I am in love.
Riding her home proved to be a bit difficult. I pulled out of the shop and she died on me. My fault, I assumed. I'm a bit rusty and this "ain't no" sporty either. Got her through the light and down the road a few feet and she died again. Wouldn't restart. Walked her home on 146 the few short blocks, got out my gas can, and gave her all there was left. She started up after that and I made the two videos below. Then she died and wouldn't restart. She was done.
Decided to give her a break, after all it was an exciting day for her too. She hadn't been on the road since '92. Her one owner stopped riding her and let her sit for years. She needed to rest a bit so I took my son to Noah's Ark for a burger. He said, "I think she's going to be fine Mom. I've got a feeling." Sure enough, he was right. She started right up when we got home.
First thing I noticed when we got ready to rock and roll is that the controls below are not in the same spot as Hope's were so my legs felt out of sorts... different. I had forward controls on Hope. The clutch was really hard to pull in and the shifting is a bit of a challenge. On Hope, you barely had to lift your toe and she shifted but I could never get her into neutral. She didn't want to go there. The FXE wants to go into neutral and stay there between first and second. To get her into second I literally have to raise my entire leg with my foot. Once she's in second though, third and fourth are not a problem.
Rode side roads and started learning this scoot's rhythm. First the neighborhood streets so I could walk her back home if need be. Then out to the main street in my little town and down to the water and the park. Then back up and out on 146, so I could get her up to speed for awhile and in fourth gear.
She performed perfectly! What a great scoot. She feels like a trooper. She's got a lot of attitude too. I love it! Even though I am sharing her with my other baby ~ she was worth the wait to ride. There are a few things she needs. Not anything big. New grips for one. Down the road, a new seat. But for now, she's perfect just the way she is and we're going to enjoy the ride together.
She's already christened my garage... and stole my heart.
